how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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