just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am puke
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
