Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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