I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
