you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
