Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
