So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
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I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
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Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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