thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
