I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
