If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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