$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize