Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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