Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
a search helicopter?!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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