People in love make me want to vomit
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
