Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
