My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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