she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
