he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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