Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
