he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
