This girl is more easily done than said...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
