what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
