he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
