May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
