my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
