I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
