My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
