so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
