If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
