think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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