I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
