Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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