Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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