so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
