Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
