i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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