Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
