There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
