Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
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I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
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haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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