Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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