Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
