i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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