The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
