i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
