I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize