Christians are straight up FREAKS
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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