The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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