I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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