Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
