In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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