'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
