It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
