Her vagina should come with caution tape.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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