I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
