Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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