I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
