Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize