Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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