Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize