I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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