like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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