The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
