I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
