i just wanna soil my oats bro
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
