And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
