His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
