I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
